You can't protect yourself from everything.

sometimes the world your mouth, has its own idea of fun. You all know where this is going don't you? With all that talk about I'm awake, everything went great, I'm doing good, it's wasn't so horrible... I spoke too soon. Sunday rolled around and all I could do was sit and stare at the clock until my 4 hours was up to take more Vicodin, which did absolutely nothing but give me false hope that relief and sleep would be in my future. I sat up all night watching That 70's Show reruns, holding heat on my face, moaning and groaning, googling pain and wisdom teeth, and watching the clock waiting for the dentist office to be open. I finally fell asleep at 6:30am and when I woke up 8 I called the dentist and made an appointment. Sure enough I have dry socket in both bottom holes. AWESOME! I even followed all the rules to avoid this. I did everything I was supposed to and nothing I wasn't supposed to. I knew the rules because everyone loves to tell you their horror stories about dry socket when they find out you're getting it done in a few days. It was just what I needed to hear to get me all excited and ready to go! But, in spite of my valiant attempts to keep it away, it happened.

So, do you know what the cure to dry socket is? It's a really fun treatment of soaking this long piece of "dressing" the doctor called it (I call it sea weed because that's what it looked like) in a clove oil concoction and shoving it into the holes. It is the most horrible tasting and smelling thing ever, but I welcomed it with open arms mouth as long as it stopped the pain. And I get to go back every other day to have it changed, which is even more fun because my dentist is a half hour drive away and in the opposite direction of my drive to work. Oh well, there's no more pain in my bottom jaw anymore. I have a small inkling that I should stop this post until I'm all cured and there are no holes left to be seen, but I live on the wild side, so I'm gonna take my chances once more.

On the plus side:
My hubs bought me some new ice packs.

My face got a nice 5 day break from make-up, my hair got nice and healthy from 4 days without showering or brushing, I got to see what I looked like if I were reincarnated as a chipmunk, and this has been an amazing diet plan. I don't even feel bad about missing boot camp for a week because I've probably lost more weight this week from sweating in pain than I would have sweating at boot camp. So for any of you out there looking to shed a few pounds, the liquid/soft diet works wonders, mainly because you get so sick of eating the same foods you don't even want to look at food anymore because it just makes you sad. But, if you are interested, here's what it consists of... (Not that I needed to lose weight or would actually suggest you do this because it's horrible and all I want to do is eat a chip.)

Day 1:
Water, Juice, Soup To Go (but really just the broth because the noodles don't come out of the cup hole anyways)

Day 2:
Same as Day 1 because you are not able to open your mouth wide enough to get a spoon in there yet :)

Day 3:
Water, Juice, Soup To Go, and you can use your finger (because it's smaller than a spoon and you're not quite there yet) to put some pudding in your mouth.

Day 4-7:
Water, Juice, Soup To Go, mashed potatoes, pudding, Jello, yogurt, and if you have a good 45 minutes to eat your meal you can have some really well cooked mac and cheese and smoosh the noodles with your tongue and then swallow it all whole.

I haven't gotten past day 7 and things aren't looking up yet in the chewing department.

WARNING: Don't try gumming a spoon full of peanut butter because it will pull your stitches out. Be extra careful with those mashed potatoes too because they may just pull your dry socket dressing out and you might accidentally swallow it. Not saying these happened, just an educated guess.

I know you are dying to see the chipmunk picture...why not share with the blogger world me at my most shining moments? Here you are for your viewing pleasure or laugh of the day. whatever.