The other half of me

So the other night I posted some random thoughts and one was life is too short...surround yourself with people you love. A guy I went to school with passed away unexpectedly last weekend and although I wasn't close to him some of my friends were and it's just tragic. My friends are grieving the loss of a friend, it's horrible. So lately I've been thinking a lot about family, friends, and relationships in general. I hate that it takes a horrible situation for people to remember that people and relationships are what's important and you have to work at it and make time for it. I'm guilty of this. I get caught up in life and day to day things and often forget to stop and remember what's really important. The guy that passed away was a year younger than me. I find that when I hear of people dying like someones grandma I think of my grandma, someone's child, I think of my nieces or the kids I teach. I put an age to it and think about what it would be like if someone close to me at that age died and no matter what situation it is, old or young, it's sad.

This time the thoughts going through my head were what if it was me, my husband, my friends, but it's really made me think about the relationship with my sister in particular. We're identical twins. It's just the two of us, so I don't have that older/younger sister/brother relationship to compare, but we're close...very close. I remember being younger and wanting to be as different from her as I possibly could be. I wanted my own identity. We were always "the twins". I wanted to be Courtney. She liked barbies, so I despised them and I liked dolls. She liked pink so I liked purple. She liked dresses so I wore pants. I know it wasn't just me, we both wanted to be different from one another. We still played and got along and had lots of fun together, but we wanted people to know we were different. I don't think we look alike at all really, but some say we do. You can tell us apart easily so that did help once we got older. Throughout school we made the same friends. I remember wishing sometimes that these friends could just be MY friends. Do you know how hard it is to keep a secret from your sister when her best friend is also your best friend? You can't! When you're in middle school and high school that's the worst. So on my quest to find my own identity I chose to go to college away from home. My sister on the other hand stayed at home as well as the majority of our close friends. The day I left for college was one of the hardest days of my life. I remember pulling out of my driveway in a separate car than my sister (she was following in a car with my Mom and Dad). I didn't even get out of the driveway and I was bawling. I felt like I was leaving half of me behind. I was okay with leaving my house, my pets, and my mom and dad. When you're an adult you're supposed to leave home and your parents. Up until that day, my sister and I had done EVERYTHING together. I never really had to be scared for big things because there was always someone doing them with me. I never felt alone. At that moment, it was a shock. I was alone. My other half was not going to stay with me. I thought I would be so excited for that day because I was finally getting what I always wanted, my own friends, my own identity, I wouldn't be constantly compared to someone else. I was excited, but also very afraid. That was the first time in my life that I realized how much my sister actually meant to me and how much of a part of me she is.

I made it through college just fine and was happy once I was there. I made new friends, experienced new things, fell in love with my now husband, got my first dog, went through some major family changing events, and I survived. I learned independence and became a stronger person. But, along the way I probably used about 6,000 phone minutes a month calling my sister to tell her everything and nothing. Then I moved back home, got married, and we now live about 40 minutes away from each other. I don't see her every day or even every week, but I talk to her every day. So, making new friends was of course great, but in the end she's still my best friend. When something big happens, I call her. When I have a horrible day, I call her. When I'm bored out of my mind at midnight, I call her. When I don't know what to do, I call her. No, she's not superhuman, she doesn't have all the answers, she's not the perfect friend, and doesn't always say the right thing, but she's my perfect friend because she has my other half. I think the best part is that she understands ME. I'm not perfect, and with her I don't need to be.

So take time to be with the ones you love. The people that really matter to you, the ones that know the real you and accept it. The people that don't judge you (and when they do it's for your own good). Don't take time for granted, it might not always be here. People are what's important, make some good memories.